Trying to take life easy..
I try to live like other normal people would do. I try to take life easy instead of taking it so hard like last time. I try to breath in and out, try to face each day with a smile instead of tears and pain, hoping that at one time i can wake up from sleep and not having that "feelings" anymore. I try not to think that much about what will happen next time or in the future and just let things flow by itself. Someone told me that dont think about the future but think about what you wanna do tommorrow. what’s your plan for the next day. In other words, dont think that much, he told me.
I wanted to believe in everysingle things that he said but why im still loosing my mind? Why im still loosing part of myself? why im still loosing him?hmm.. i still couldnt find the answer till this very moment.On my way back home from work just now, i was thinking all the way back.Got "the song" on the radio-Breathe Again. I dont know why whenever i listened to that particular song, he’ll be back in my mind. But things are different tonight. Im way too tired. Was it time to let go? Then i realised that im hurting so much inside but i managed to make it invisible in other people’s eyes and especially him. The thing is i cannot lie to myself. Im way too tired of surpressing my feelings, the hurt, the pain and my dissapointment. Sometimes i felt that this is way too much for me to take:(
Dont know what makes me hold on to this one belief. Dont know why im still here letting days passing me by without trying to actually make things better. I guess ive been trying too hard, but still not good enough.Ive been trying to read all the signs, trying to get the message but i cant see it. I try to pretend nothing is happening, i try to deny the feelings but i cant. i try to move on like i never knew him but i cant. God knows how hard i tried till there was one particular time, i cried the whole night knowing the fact that nothing changed inside of me. I pray all the time that this feeling will vanish and the pain will recede, but its not happening.
im hurting so much inside. I admitted that fact today. I cant hide it anymore. Im emotionally tired and exhausted. if only I could pack my things and leave, hoping that this would somehow help me, then i will choose to leave. A good friend of mine was saying, running away from problems wont solve anything.Face it, confront the problem and thats how you handle problems. Not by running away from it.Try to deal with it. If only others can see what’s happening back then, they would believe me..
Something is wrong with me. Something is incomplete, which remind me of that particular song. Dont feel like writing about my class and my work today and my interview yesterday. it was a tough one, that’s all i can say. Hmm what good is a heart if you scared to choose, but im a human being, i got feelings that i wouldnt lie.
"Incomplete"
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
